My birth certificate says I was born at Stanford hospital in Palo Alto, California 1977. However, I wasn’t really born until I attended college at Santa Clara University in 1996. I could tell you it was the Jesuit academic rigor that exposed me to myself. Philosophy and theology were my favorite studies. But it was a bright summer day after stepping out of the campus bookstore into the concrete quad that I was really born. A wave rose out of the back of my mind like a tsunami and washed over me in anointing. I stared at the red bricks laid so perfectly at my feet. I saw others students walking by in the periphery of my view, feet and legs coming and going this way and that. I realized I was one of them. I realized I was walking into my future, a doctor, lawyer, teacher…. We were the cream of the crop, well rounded, and anything was possible, so I thought. It wasn’t until then that everything became possible. It wasn’t until I realized where I was and who I was becoming that I really knew anything. I had been following the path before me, making the most of it as I had seen others do. However, something changed in me that very moment. In that moment, standing in the quad in front of the campus book store staring at my feet I finally realized the most important thing anyone can realize in this life, I didn’t exist. I know that may sound absurd, but hear me out. Up until that very moment in time I had spent my life reacting to the various circumstances and situation in my life. I didn’t know who I really was. I was just doing the best I could along the way. If I didn’t really know myself, then who was making my decisions? My environment had birthed me based on my nature and he nurture of my singular existence. In short, I didn’t exist until I I realized I didn’t exist. I didn’t exist because I was merely a reaction to my environment, until I realized that was what I was, and then, and only then, I was born, consciously. I had discovered my greatest gift, true self-awareness. And I recall a feeling of the deepest joy I have ever experienced in my life. I remember how I smirked so curiously. I had the greatest secret ever, myself.
The main purpose of this website is to share my experience, strength, and hope of my spiritual awakening from the darkness into the light and the subsequent dance with my shadow that inevitably ensues and the assembly of shades of transformation.
Creative expression is self-exploration. Art is not only healing, but a process of self-discovery, and the unique product of our individual thoughts and feelings as we are moved to create. Whether it be music, cooking, scrap booking, writing, or just the way we live our lives. Art is at the heART of man’s dynamic human spirit which celebrates creation and the created.