You Are Your Valentine

It may seem corny, “Love Yourself”,  but it really is true and a very powerful truth.  Love comes in infinite forms.  It shows up through different people in different ways at different times.  Love is unique.  It may not show up how we want it to at the time.  Staying open to how love shows up is then the challenge.  Looking back on my own life, I can see how Love shows up just how it is needed to when it needs to.

Valentine’s Day pushes romantic love, red roses, and diamond jewelry.  Most everyone has had a romantic relationship and most everyone has lost a romantic relationship.  I can attest that loss only leads to greater gains, eventually, if we work through it.  People are not always meant to be in our lives forever, despite how it may feel at the time.  Sometimes, people show up hugely, or intensely, and then seem to fall off the face of the earth and vanish forever.   I have had my fair share of love and loss.  I continue to love those I have loved by honoring their memory with positive thoughts and warm wishes.  Sometimes, this is all we can do, especially if we have lost someone, whether through lack of relationship or death.

The coming and going of people important in my life has been a challenge for me since childhood.  My Mom said when I was really young I would cry when people left.  I really attached to people quickly and deeply.  It is my nature.  I also know what it is like to feel like I have been left behind, that I am not good enough for someone else.  Honestly, it usually is the other way around.  We move on or are forced to move on because we have experienced what we needed to experience in that particular relationship and something new is calling us if we open ourselves to it.  I believe, we are meant to be with who we have been with and will be with.   The process of letting go and reopening is the challenge.  The better we get to know ourselves in loss and grief the better we get know our own love and how to give it to ourselves and then others.  Loss seems to force self-love, or denial and self-destruction.  I have lived both paths and choose the former.

The power of love shows up through all sorts of people in different ways at different times.  The challenge is allowing love to show up as it is rather than closing our minds to what we want it to be, to accept love as it is.  Love is ever-changing, even between people who have know each other a while.  And I think this kind of dynamic love begins with us, our relationship with ourselves; to practice love on ourselves so that we can learn how to do it better and be able to share more of our own love with others as we can and choose.  When we are self-loving we know love better and can spot love better when it shows up in our life because we experience it within ourselves and know what it is intimately and personally.  The more I practice a loving relationship with myself, the more all of my relationships can become more loving.  I really think that is the way life is suppose to be, one person loving another, starting with ourselves : )

Tip to try-

I have practiced dating myself over the years by taking myself out to a nice dinner of my choosing, and a movie I want to see.  There is often almost no time and energy left at the end of the day for quality time with ourselves.  I have found I have to make it.  So, I propose a Date night.  Take yourself out.  Have fun!  You don’t have to compromise.  You can do whatever you want.  Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for those who do not have plans with someone else, or who want to give themselves the gift of time with themselves to try a Date Night with themselves, or start with a walk in your neighborhood, stop in a local cafe or spot you have never been.  Get out and have an adventure with yourself!

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Would you be mine ; )

Posted in Personal, Philosophy, Social Critique, Spirituality.

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